I woke up this morning to the sound of non-stop growling from my stomach. It’s so bad that I couldn’t sleep through it any more. The reason? I haven’t had anything to eat for 36 hours now, in preparation for today’s gastrointestinal exams. The last thing I ate was a piece of cherry pie, as dessert after supper Monday night. Since then I’ve been on a “clear liquids” diet meaning I can drink juice, pop, tea, broth, etc. but not eat anything except jello. And unfortunately, I haven’t really liked jello since I was a kid.
Lunch yesterday was a cup of hot vegetable broth, a Coke, and a bowl of lime jello. Supper last night? A cup of chicken broth and some pomegranate juice. And then I drank a gallon – that’s right, literally one gallon – of this special liquid they prescribe to clear out the colon in anticipation of an exam. I had to drink one cup of this stuff every ten minutes for about three hours straight. So I spent the whole evening cycling between the toilet and the kitchen, putting more of this liquid in one end and eliminating it out the other end. It was one of the least enjoyable things I think I’ve ever done. But I did get lots of reading done in the bathroom!
Now, this morning, I’m having a glass of iced white grape juice for breakfast. In another hour or two maybe I’ll have another cup of broth, but even the clear liquids have to cease at 10 AM and I’m not allowed to drink anything for the three hours before the exam.
After the exam, I’m having a milk shake, hamburger, and tater tots. I don’t give a damn if that’s not a well balanced meal. After 44 hours of nothing to eat, I think I’m allowed to eat whatever I want.